|12| [Video]

[wing_attack]

[Tobias... doesn't look so good right now. The holidays had been nice, with people around him, but he couldn't help but think about the person who should be around, celebrating the holidays with him.]

[Should be, but isn't. Can't. Even if she came here somehow before -]

[- it'd be weird, knowing she was supposed to be dead.]

[So it's with the Lake of Rage in the background that Tobias looks up at the camera, blinking slowly. Maybe he should have set it to text, but whatever. It's too late now.]

If you... wanted to honor someone who wasn't here... who'd died... how would you do it? They... she was a hero. She died a hero. So I want to do something, but I don't... it's not like I have her ashes with me.

I know... that as long as I'm around, she's... I mean she's dead, but... I still remember her. I still...

... But she's dead, so... does it even matter anymore? Does... it really matter what I feel about... everything? She wasn't the only one who died that day but I... she was... I...

[He drops the 'Gear, his face in his hands, and a big furry brown paw reaches down to shut it off.]

Comments

[voice]

[lieutenantantichrist]

[He's all right with switching to voice. He can understand not wanting to have to look at people.

He listens quietly. He doesn't understand all of it, but he gets the important part: Tobias's friend went down fighting. He would hardly believe a teenage girl could do that, before he met Heather.]

She must've been tough.

[That's one of the highest compliments Blake knows.]

I've known people like that. If they went out with a bang like that...they'd be proud.

[voice]

[wing_attack]

... She was. She was... the toughest of all of us. And... I guess she would be. She just...

I... I wish she was here. I don't... for three years she was with me. It... sometimes feels like it wasn't real, even... though I know it was.

[voice]

[lieutenantantichrist]

Of all the ways to go, killing the shit out of some aliens has to be one of the best.

Here, it's easy to feel like the past never happened. But it did. All you gotta do is remember it.

[voice]

[wing_attack]

[There's something like a choked-up laugh from his end.]

... I can't exactly forget it, Blake. There's a reason I keep Regal close when I sleep.

[Fight or flight, just in case he wakes up to trouble... and a nice fluffy friend to help keep him calm.]

[voice]

[lieutenantantichrist]

Not just that.

[Blake knows plenty about nightmares. That's a great thing about Pokemon - if you wake up shaking, they never say a word.]

The good ones, too. The things they'd want you to remember.

[voice]

[wing_attack]

... Yeah. I... I'm trying. It's just hard to... bring up the good memories when the bad ones are fresh...

[Relatively fresh, anyway.]

[voice]

[lieutenantantichrist]

I know.

[Or when the good ones were stained and turned ugly.]

You gonna be okay, kid?

[voice]

[wing_attack]

... Yeah. I'm just... camping out for now. I needed some air. I'll probably go... go home in a day or two.

[Even if his voice still strains on the word 'home' sometimes.]

[voice]

[lieutenantantichrist]

Yeah. Walk around some. Beat the hell out of some rats.

[The quiet is long enough it'd be reasonable to think Blake has hung up.]




You get used to it.

[voice]

[wing_attack]

Yeah, something like that. Climb a tree, jump around them like an idiot. Haven't done a lot of that, really. I need to go be an idiot kid some more, right?

[There's a little bit of a smile in his voice, at least.]

[voice]

[lieutenantantichrist]

Sounds like a good plan. [There's an undercurrent of relief in his voice: the kid's pulling himself together.]

That's one great thing about being here. It's the perfect place to be an idiot.

[voice]

[wing_attack]

Regal will keep me out of trouble. ... Most of the time.