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[Tobias... doesn't look so good right now. The holidays had been nice, with people around him, but he couldn't help but think about the person who should be around, celebrating the holidays with him.]

[Should be, but isn't. Can't. Even if she came here somehow before -]

[- it'd be weird, knowing she was supposed to be dead.]

[So it's with the Lake of Rage in the background that Tobias looks up at the camera, blinking slowly. Maybe he should have set it to text, but whatever. It's too late now.]

If you... wanted to honor someone who wasn't here... who'd died... how would you do it? They... she was a hero. She died a hero. So I want to do something, but I don't... it's not like I have her ashes with me.

I know... that as long as I'm around, she's... I mean she's dead, but... I still remember her. I still...

... But she's dead, so... does it even matter anymore? Does... it really matter what I feel about... everything? She wasn't the only one who died that day but I... she was... I...

[He drops the 'Gear, his face in his hands, and a big furry brown paw reaches down to shut it off.]

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...Bisidian honors its dead by drinking to their memory while sharing anecdotes and good times. That'd be difficult if you're the only one around who knew her, though, unless you don't mind rambling to other people.

[Not very solemn, perhaps, but it works for his crew.]

[...Damn. Okay, that's...he doesn't exactly have good answers, but death is something that tends to catch his attention for obvious reasons.]

I'm sure you've already heard a lot of the standard advice, and I'm not going to try to be cute and tell you that everything happens for a reason or that she's in a better place now or whatever, because that doesn't help any. Not in the long run, anyway, because better place or not you probably want her here with you and not...that.

I don't know, you've probably heard the whole thing about living your life in a way they'd want you to. That's probably one of the better bits of advice out there. Honor them in what you do with yourself.

[That's a.... tough question. But he looks like he's taking it seriously, though his voice is rather distant.]

Before coming here, I'd lost a lot of people I cared about very quickly. Most of my friends died, all within a period of about half an hour or so. I understand what you're going through.

You could light a candle, do something she used to enjoy in her memory. Something like that.

...Back home- y'know how it is, all Christianity and such. Lotsa tears, lotsa black, flowers on graves and things. I mean, that's what normal folks did and the like.

Never really experienced it myself.

[And by 'it', he means the funerals. Not the death. He knows that well enough.]

...But I can tell ya that it matters what ya feel about it all. Not sure what ta do for that part, but yer feelins are definitely important. Sure, lotsa people died, but she was important ta ya. There's no fightin' that.

Hey. Kid. Pick up. Talk to me.

[Tobias usually has himself together. Seeing him like this has Blake shaken. However, he's known plenty of people who've lost friends in the line of duty. Lost a few himself.]

I'll tell you what we always did. Step one is find the son of a bitch who did it and put them behind bars or in traction. Both's good.

There's always the funerals, the official stuff, but the real step two is, you go out and get a beer, and you talk about them. The old stories everybody's heard a hundred times, or something nobody else knows that just never came up before.

Tell me about her.

[He knows Tobias has had a rough life. Blake's just gotten a glimpse of the war he is too damn young to have been a part of. Adults should've been the ones to take care of that. That's what soldiers and cops are for, and in Tobias' case, they didn't do their damn jobs. At least now, one can listen to him.]

_{[God.]

[It's not that she doesn't have the experience necessary to talk on a topic like this-- she does. Good lord, she has it in spades.]

[But it never gets any easier, even for people who have ridden this rodeo more times than they can count.]}

... It matters, Tobias. It matters a lot.

As for honoring her... well, that's different for everybody, but me... I try to think about the happy memories. That's probably how most people would rather be remembered. It'll still be sad, but... hopefully it'll feel a little good, too.

_{[She'd suggest having a stiff drink while doing so, but she can't remember if Tobias is actually legal or not. And as much as SHE didn't give a shit when it came to herself, now that she's technically an 'adult' she'd really rather not encourage kids to break the law.]}

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