![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[Tobias... doesn't look so good right now. The holidays had been nice, with people around him, but he couldn't help but think about the person who should be around, celebrating the holidays with him.]
[Should be, but isn't. Can't. Even if she came here somehow before -]
[- it'd be weird, knowing she was supposed to be dead.]
[So it's with the Lake of Rage in the background that Tobias looks up at the camera, blinking slowly. Maybe he should have set it to text, but whatever. It's too late now.]
If you... wanted to honor someone who wasn't here... who'd died... how would you do it? They... she was a hero. She died a hero. So I want to do something, but I don't... it's not like I have her ashes with me.
I know... that as long as I'm around, she's... I mean she's dead, but... I still remember her. I still...
... But she's dead, so... does it even matter anymore? Does... it really matter what I feel about... everything? She wasn't the only one who died that day but I... she was... I...
[He drops the 'Gear, his face in his hands, and a big furry brown paw reaches down to shut it off.]
[Video]
Date: 2016-01-14 04:22 am (UTC)From:[It's not that she doesn't have the experience necessary to talk on a topic like this-- she does. Good lord, she has it in spades.]
[But it never gets any easier, even for people who have ridden this rodeo more times than they can count.]
... It matters, Tobias. It matters a lot.
As for honoring her... well, that's different for everybody, but me... I try to think about the happy memories. That's probably how most people would rather be remembered. It'll still be sad, but... hopefully it'll feel a little good, too.
[She'd suggest having a stiff drink while doing so, but she can't remember if Tobias is actually legal or not. And as much as SHE didn't give a shit when it came to herself, now that she's technically an 'adult' she'd really rather not encourage kids to break the law.]
[Audio]
Date: 2016-01-14 04:32 am (UTC)From:... I know you're right. It's just... hard to push them aside from the horrible memories.
[Voice]
Date: 2016-01-15 01:40 am (UTC)From:[Voice]
Date: 2016-01-15 02:03 am (UTC)From:[voice]
Date: 2016-01-15 09:59 am (UTC)From:[Blake knows plenty about nightmares. That's a great thing about Pokemon - if you wake up shaking, they never say a word.]
The good ones, too. The things they'd want you to remember.
[voice]
Date: 2016-01-15 05:05 pm (UTC)From:[Relatively fresh, anyway.]
[Voice]
Date: 2016-01-16 02:56 am (UTC)From:[Audio]
Date: 2016-01-16 05:47 am (UTC)From:I'm sorry.
[Audio]
Date: 2016-01-16 06:16 am (UTC)From:[Voice]
Date: 2016-01-16 06:17 am (UTC)From:[Voice]
Date: 2016-01-17 12:04 am (UTC)From:[Voice]
Date: 2016-01-17 12:25 am (UTC)From:voice;
Date: 2016-01-17 12:54 am (UTC)From:There's no quick way to grieve.
[Voice]
Date: 2016-01-17 03:42 pm (UTC)From:[Voice]
Date: 2016-01-17 05:38 pm (UTC)From:[Audio]
Date: 2016-01-17 06:24 pm (UTC)From:[She sighs deeply.]
You in Goldenrod?
[Audio]
Date: 2016-01-17 06:44 pm (UTC)From:[voice]
Date: 2016-01-18 08:20 am (UTC)From:[Or when the good ones were stained and turned ugly.]
You gonna be okay, kid?
[voice]
Date: 2016-01-18 04:33 pm (UTC)From:[Even if his voice still strains on the word 'home' sometimes.]
[Voice]
Date: 2016-01-19 12:44 am (UTC)From:[Voice]
Date: 2016-01-19 01:20 am (UTC)From:[Audio]
Date: 2016-01-19 11:33 pm (UTC)From:Guess I was hoping you were around so I could give you a hug or something.
[Jesus though isn't it cold out? She knows he's used to being a bird but he must be freezing his butt off out there.]
You got those clothes I sent you?
[Audio]
Date: 2016-01-20 12:13 am (UTC)From:I just kind of... needed some air.
[voice]
Date: 2016-01-20 09:22 am (UTC)From:[The quiet is long enough it'd be reasonable to think Blake has hung up.]
You get used to it.
[voice]
Date: 2016-01-20 04:29 pm (UTC)From:[There's a little bit of a smile in his voice, at least.]