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[Tobias... doesn't look so good right now. The holidays had been nice, with people around him, but he couldn't help but think about the person who should be around, celebrating the holidays with him.]

[Should be, but isn't. Can't. Even if she came here somehow before -]

[- it'd be weird, knowing she was supposed to be dead.]

[So it's with the Lake of Rage in the background that Tobias looks up at the camera, blinking slowly. Maybe he should have set it to text, but whatever. It's too late now.]

If you... wanted to honor someone who wasn't here... who'd died... how would you do it? They... she was a hero. She died a hero. So I want to do something, but I don't... it's not like I have her ashes with me.

I know... that as long as I'm around, she's... I mean she's dead, but... I still remember her. I still...

... But she's dead, so... does it even matter anymore? Does... it really matter what I feel about... everything? She wasn't the only one who died that day but I... she was... I...

[He drops the 'Gear, his face in his hands, and a big furry brown paw reaches down to shut it off.]

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_{[God.]

[It's not that she doesn't have the experience necessary to talk on a topic like this-- she does. Good lord, she has it in spades.]

[But it never gets any easier, even for people who have ridden this rodeo more times than they can count.]}

... It matters, Tobias. It matters a lot.

As for honoring her... well, that's different for everybody, but me... I try to think about the happy memories. That's probably how most people would rather be remembered. It'll still be sad, but... hopefully it'll feel a little good, too.

_{[She'd suggest having a stiff drink while doing so, but she can't remember if Tobias is actually legal or not. And as much as SHE didn't give a shit when it came to herself, now that she's technically an 'adult' she'd really rather not encourage kids to break the law.]}

I try, but... I keep thinking about... about how she died, and... and about everything that's... about..

... I know you're right. It's just... hard to push them aside from the horrible memories.

The mental image is certainly amusing, but I'm sure trying it for real wouldn't be.

Yeah it's... not so fun. Landing on the giant seven foot tall walking razorblade aliens was easier than a dolphin. I got stuck on the dolphin.

Not just that.

[Blake knows plenty about nightmares. That's a great thing about Pokemon - if you wake up shaking, they never say a word.]

The good ones, too. The things they'd want you to remember.

... Yeah. I... I'm trying. It's just hard to... bring up the good memories when the bad ones are fresh...

[Relatively fresh, anyway.]

How did that even happen? I mean, as far as I know dolphins are not particularly sticky.

I know. I know, it is really hard.

I'm sorry.

... It sucks, Heather. It sucks and it's not fair.

My uh... talon got kind of lodged in the dolphin.

...Seriously. That can't possibly have been pleasant for the dolphin either.

I don't think it was, no. Also this happened in public so that was... fun.

...Just take your time.

There's no quick way to grieve.

Must have been difficult to explain, unless you just... flew off and pretended it hadn't happened afterwards.

I think we pretty much did. It was an amusement park and wildlife park... kind of thing, so there were dolphin shows.

No, it's not.

_{[She sighs deeply.]}

You in Goldenrod?

No, I... I had to get some air, so I went up to the Lake of Rage. I've done it a few times, so I have a good spot to camp out at.

I know.

[Or when the good ones were stained and turned ugly.]

You gonna be okay, kid?

... Yeah. I'm just... camping out for now. I needed some air. I'll probably go... go home in a day or two.

[Even if his voice still strains on the word 'home' sometimes.]

That's... much easier than seeking out a wild one, I suppose, but not ideal conditions for discretion.

No, but we had to work with what we had.

Oh-- yeah, I should've recognized that lake.

Guess I was hoping you were around so I could give you a hug or something.

_{[Jesus though isn't it cold out? She knows he's used to being a bird but he must be freezing his butt off out there.]}

You got those clothes I sent you?

It's okay. And... yeah, I did. Thanks. Did you get the stuff I sent you?

I just kind of... needed some air.

Yeah. Walk around some. Beat the hell out of some rats.

[The quiet is long enough it'd be reasonable to think Blake has hung up.]

You get used to it.

Yeah, something like that. Climb a tree, jump around them like an idiot. Haven't done a lot of that, really. I need to go be an idiot kid some more, right?

[There's a little bit of a smile in his voice, at least.]

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